This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
