need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
