She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
