Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
