If i come over, it means nothing
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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