Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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