Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
