Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
