she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
