someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
