we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
