no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
