she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
