Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
