I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize