i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
