I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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