So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
