A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
