Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just had sex on a roof
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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