i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize