would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
