not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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