just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
