another moral hangover. fuck.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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