I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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