You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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