And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
