Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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