We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
