A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this will be a night to untag.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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