so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
