he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
