At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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