What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
