Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
