Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
