she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
