I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
