We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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