I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
