Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
