dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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