So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i out mim tonsoeep
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
