We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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