why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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