he shaved USA in his pubs
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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