I'm going to jail i love you
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
