there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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