you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize