I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
