She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
