my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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