Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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