So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
