Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
