I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
