the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
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