She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
