Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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