she was so not down for the gang bang
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
