I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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