How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
