i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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