standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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