you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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