If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize