I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
