I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
