Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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