Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
