who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize