found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
