He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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