I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
