I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
