I could have mohawked her pubes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize