She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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