think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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