He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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